Rachel and Ralph's Super Happy a Fun Time Thread

May we all hate equally.

Re: Rachel and Ralph's Super Happy a Fun Time Thread

Postby Ashley Underwood » Wed Jul 23, 2014 9:00:50 pm

Rachel, that is so rude. At least I went out with a bang icon_wink
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Re: Rachel and Ralph's Super Happy a Fun Time Thread

Postby Shawn » Wed Jul 23, 2014 9:36:29 pm

You literally made me spit my drink when I read that whole thing. icon_lol
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Re: Rachel and Ralph's Super Happy a Fun Time Thread

Postby Ralph » Thu Jul 24, 2014 12:23:48 am

relive the plothole ridden series <3

Prologue

It was just another day for the citizens of Poodyvile. Ibrehem was praising Allah for the fine booty he was starting at, Marissa was chancing Cochran's bitch ass with a knife, Semhar was being a fucking dumbass in the corner, Caryn was having hot hot sex with Becky, Ralph and Rachel were writing some weird ass smut Fic, Vytas was being a bitch, and Shawn was drooling in the corner. All was well, just like it always had been, after all what was going to destroy the lovely life that the Poodyvile citizens were enjoying?

However that day was different, because you see the citizens of Poodyvile decided that it would be a wonderful idea to go on a camping trip 50,000 miles away from civilization, because ya know that's smart and shit, in order to get away from the city life that had served them so well. Once everybody had packed their things and Cochran had been properly traumatized everybody got onto the bus and set off out to the camping grounds.

However little did the citizens of Poodyvile know, there was evil afoot in their midst. And soon, the face stabbing would begin.

Chapter one.
Popcorn and Butholes

In Poodyland trouble was stirring. The kiddies were getting Restless as the day drew on. "insults" said coby. god laughed. god liked coby and his hair.
god liked the gays. so did satan. and other things. "guys I have an idol" said Vytas as he chugged another Stale bud light. The bud light reminded Vytas of when he was dropped as A child. Vytas didn't like that. "COCHY..... COCH? WHERE U AT" said Vytas quietly. "chuggachugga choo choo" said Cochran. Cochran was tripping major balls. Cochran then saw a knife. Cochran saw a knife. he then saw Ralph being incredibly handsome. Cochran was Jealous. Ralph was totally about to get a date to prom but then BAM. MOTHER. FUCKING. FACE. MURDER. there lay a dead Ralph. Africa cried. jemima cried. the pancakes cried. And he still got the girl. whattguyhewas.



Chapter Three

God Dammit Cochran


The sudden realization of what Cochran had just done hit him like a tidal wave of bricks. He had just stabbed the sexiest man in all of Poodyvile IN THE FUCKING FACE! There was no way in hell he was going to survive the night if the others found out! They'd kill him for sure! So he did the only thing he knew how.

Cried like a bitch on the kitchen floor.

Suddenly Vytas walked in on the scene, dropping the idol he had stored in Rachel's vagina for two weeks now onto the floor in shock.

"COCHRAN WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO!" Yelled Vytas as he looked at the scene in shock.

"I DON'T KNOW!!!" Cochran yelled back, tears filling his eyes.

"WHY THE FUCK IS RALPH DEAD!!!" Vytas asked still in total shock.

"I... I DON'T KNOW!!!" Cochran screamed! "HE WAS JUST SO GOOD LOOKING I THOUGHT IT WOULD UP MY CHANCES WITH BECKY!!!"

"Dude you... Oh fucking hell..." Vytas said as he tried to look away from the scene. "We... We need to hide the body"

"WAIT WHAT!" Cochran screamed, like a bitch, yet again.

"Dude if they find him you're dead! We need to move him stat!" Vytas commanded. "Now grab his legs and move already!"

The two then proceeded to attempt to hide Ralph's limp body in an out house cause clearly nobody's ever going to go in there.

Mean while Ibe was on the prowl for sum fun. That was when he stumbled upon the lovely Beauty Queen of Poody Park, Ashley. Ashley winked at Ibe and waved him over to her luxury cabin to have sum fun.

The two entered and quickly Ashley pulled Ibe's pants right the fuck off and threw him onto her bed. Ashley then jumped on top of Ibe's big ass dick and started to ride that shit like a pony. At first Ibe was enjoying what Ashley was doing, when all of a sudden Ibe felt a sudden snap.

His dick had broken off.

"OH SHIT!" He yelled as the blood gushed our of the nub that his dick used to be attached to.

Ashley though didn't care about Ibe's panic as she was too preoccupied with Ibe's dick in her vagina. She continued to bounce up and down on it, shoving Ibe's dick further and further inside of her until suddenly his dick came right out of her belly button. She quickly let out a scream if pain as her small intestines started to fall out of her, before she died right on top of Ibe, who quickly passed on along side her.

But at least he died doing what he loved, getting the booty.




Chapter 3.
Yaaaaaas gur, Relatable
As the dick snappening was happening Semhar was talking to everyone about how she was going to chat up Rachel. Rachel was the mad hot notes and sem wanted some of that Tyson Leftovers.

" HI rachel how's it going? "

" ....... "

Semhar couldn't take it anymore. She took out the cell phone and called 911 for sexual assault. She accused Rachel of sexually assaulting her and Rachel was Crushed. Rachel then a well reached into her own heart to pull out her pancreas. She then sat on her pancreas well reciting the Maranda rights.

" You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you...... "
Semhar couldn't take the fact that Rachel was having such a good time with her goopy blood guts and her Miranda rights so she ran, she ran so far awaa-ay. When semhar had successfully ran far enough from rachel enjoying herself She saw something. Something magnificent.
something fantastic.
Hayden's amazing abs looking back at her. She went in for a closer look but it wasn't worth it for it was a trap.
Peter came out of the Woods saying D-D-D-D-Dead bitch naw.






Chapter 4

Poodygods Assemble


After noticing that their citizens were having way too much fun stabbing each other, the Poodygods all gathered to discuss the matter. While Frank and Sophie were fucking in the corner, Mia suggested sending their local bitch Haydumb out to the camp site to stop the murders. Sadly for them he wasn't called Haydumb because the second he got there he tripped on a knife and stabbed himself in the eye.

Realizing that the camp ground must be cursed or some shit, the Poodygods did the one thing they could think if. Smoke some dope and get high as shit.

Meanwhile back on earth as Rachel and her pancreas were being taken in for questioning the two cops noticed that Ashley's cabin door was open. Hoping that she was naked or something the two of them and Rachel ran inside only to see Ibe's dick on top of a dead Ibe and Ashley.

The two cops fainted in shock as Rachel, entranced by the Size of Ibe's unattached dick, walked towards the two dead hotties. She slowly picked up Ibe's dick, and after staining at it longingly she shoved it into her mouth and started to suck. However the penis would soon betray her as she shoved it down too far and began to choke, before falling onto the floor as the penis's second victim.




Chapter 5
GoodShit.png

It was 3 am in Poodyland/vile/street/place and everyone was sleeping except P-P-Peter who was P-P-Pissed off. Peter had recently injected a bunch of roids into his thighs to get the gurls and to crush his enemies heads. P-P-Peter wanted to crush some skulls with his fists of multi posting. He searched his phone for contacts who would be down to fight with him. Peter had to do it. He had to call her.
Peter looked under M and Called Mia.

P-P-Peter was found dead due to overdose of marriage you wanna.
This angered the Gods and Godesses.
and most of all angered Mia.
Mia was pisssssssed aaaawwwfff







Chapter 6

Coby


Mia was still trying to clam herself from P-P-Peter's death when all of a sudden she noticed a stranger walking into town by the name of Coby. Mia, figuring that nobody will give a shit if this Rando died, quickly whipped out her mighty sword of Justice and ran straight for Coby.

Coby, realizing that he's most likely doomed if he stands there like a dumbass, ran as fast as he could away from the crazy bitch. He quickly turned a corner into an ally way which Mia quickly followed before giving a mighty swing of her sword slicing off a man's head.

Happy with her hunt Mia quickly looked down at the body and realized that it was not the man she had chased through out town. She shrugged it off though as the lighting playing tricks on her.

A month later the towns people finally realized Shawn was missing.





Chapter 7
Chocolate Love

shawn had passed and _ was traumatized.

The poodygods were pissed as dick and wanted to flip the script. They raised Caryn to try to convince others the kill themselves.
Caryn went straight for ibe who's dick was still broken. Ibe saw Caryn and darted half limp dick and all. He ran, he ran so far aw-ay. Caryn could smell the chocolate in his blood though and ran after her/him/it.

Caryn yelled "I HAVE A CRAVING FOR CHOCOLATE" Ibe was scarred now. He Hid up in the tree. Caryn could smell the chocolate and went ham on the tree. Caryn made the tree Kill It's self and Ibe Came Tumbling down.

Caryn saw he chance and lept onto Ibe's back. She physically took out his six pack and put it into her stomach. She then crushed his body into a skin rug so she could yell at her all day. Iberehem was found dead when A sharp piece of cinnamon toast crunch fell on him





The Night Prior

Becky knew that something was up with Cochran and Vytas. They had been acting very strange since Ralph went missing, so she decided that it was time to do something.

She and Laura-Goddess met that night in an empty parking lot on the edge of town to discuss what the two boys had been up to, so they decided that the only way to figure out just what exactly happened to the hot hot fatty. So both girls pulled out some chalk and drew a circle to summon some dead peeps back to life. After doing some weird ass chat to satan a magical light shined down as both Ibe and Ashley appeared before them.

Sadly for them Ashley was now a zombie and ripped Becky's thought right the fuck out. Ibe then screamed like a bitch, picked up his dick off the floor, and ran away as zombie Ashley and Becky began to eat Laura-Goddess as well.




Finale Part one
Okay Rach your going to have to finish this baby off! I'll get the cliffhanger starting.

Pissed off women and The letter V
Vytas had recently been murdered by Cochran/ some sort of A puzzle. he went to join others up in Heaven. But he had no idea what other people had in store for him. BAM insult coming from the left. HOOK-AH insult coming from the right. Vytas couldn't take it anymore. He stabbed himself in the face with Aras's Used didlo and went up to super heaven. He then later became best friends with Lou Reed James Brown and Micheal Jackson. he was then touched by MJ james brown and Lou reed.

The poody gods were bored As fuck. There were still... one.... two.... thre- A LOT of people living in poodyvile. Poody decided he needed to make it rain on them hoes so he could get his pimp daddy grills on and live like A gangsta. as he went into his solid gold bathtub he tripped and fell in. Water split everywhere onto the town of Poodyland. Everyone died A wet soapy gangsta death. Except for three people. Cochran, Shawn, and Lincoln still remained in the now flooded land Of Poody ville. Shawn said "thank god we made it eh guys!" Cochran insulted him and pushed him into the water.

Now realizing that Shawn could swim Cochran dove in after him with one of Aras's spare dildos.
The fight had began but who would come out victorious?





The Final. Part 2

Meanwhile as Cochran and the double dicked Shawn fought to the death, all around Poodyvile the zombie army of dead citizens marched around the town. Mia, realizing that the Poody Gods had made a grave error, road down from the heavens on her mobile steed Sophie. Wielding her Mighty Sword Of Justice she attempted to slice Zombie Ashley's head clean off, only for Ashley to grow a new one.

Confused as to how this happened she sliced again and again, but every time Ashley's head would grow right back. It was at that moment that she realized how to defeat the leader of the Zombie horde.

Ibe's Penis.

Mia ran through the town searching for the two docked wonder, until she found him fucking Zombie Caryn's brains out, holding his first dick in his hand. Mia swiftly have zombie Ibe a swift kick to his second dick causing him to drop the penis in his unbearable agony. Mia quickly grabbed the dick and ran off to find Zombie Ashley, and slay her once and for all.

Cochran meanwhile was busy being an asshole trying to murder Shawn when he hadn't done anything to him when all of a sudden out of nowhere Coby, who had been smart enough to escape the city after Mia tried to kill him, appeared and stabbed Cochran in his bitch face.

"THAT'S FOR RALPH!" Coby yelled as Cochran's body sank into the water below.

Shawn attempted to thank Coby for his help, only for Coby to remember that Mia killed Shawn's bitch ass two months ago and remurder him.

Mia quickly found Zombie Ashley bullying poor Zombie Rachel for being so much hotter than her and called for her to stop. Zombie Ashley turned her attention to Mia, let out a sickening roar, and ran full speed towards her. Mia though was ready, because as Zombie Ashley ran towards Mia she quickly hurled Ibe's dick right into Ashley's Vagina, only for it to take the same course it had before and go back out through her belly button, forcing her intensities to spill out of her, killing her instantly.

Suddenly, with in the blink of an eye, the Zombie citizens regained their human forms. No longer would they roam the city looking for human flesh, and once more the citizens could live together in peace and harmony.

Except for Ashley, Cochran, and Shawn. They still dead.

The End













Critic Reviews

Mia Galeotalanza wrote:
Thanks Ralph and Rachel <3


Jeff Probst wrote:Well this is clearly the highlight of my hosting career <33333


Caryn wrote:Nvm, I love this. icon_lol




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Re: Rachel and Ralph's Super Happy a Fun Time Thread

Postby Rachel » Thu Jul 24, 2014 7:01:41 am

icon_lol
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Re: Rachel and Ralph's Super Happy a Fun Time Thread

Postby Mia Galeotalanza » Thu Jul 24, 2014 10:18:38 am

icon_wub
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Re: Rachel and Ralph's Super Happy a Fun Time Thread

Postby Coby » Thu Jul 24, 2014 5:44:12 pm

This story earns five: icon_lol icon_lol icon_lol icon_lol icon_lol
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Re: Rachel and Ralph's Super Happy a Fun Time Thread

Postby Becky » Thu Jul 24, 2014 7:14:54 pm

I just want to take some hot wax to that picture of Ralph.

But good job on the story, and completing it. A+ for effort.
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Re: Rachel and Ralph's Super Happy a Fun Time Thread

Postby Caryn » Thu Jul 24, 2014 7:23:44 pm

I'll admit this is funny, but this story has nothing on all of the shit I wrote in my creative writing class back in the High School glory days.
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Re: Rachel and Ralph's Super Happy a Fun Time Thread

Postby Ralph » Thu Jul 24, 2014 7:26:58 pm

Becky wrote:I just want to take some hot wax to that picture of Ralph.

.


It just grows back in double the length.
I don't even wear clothes in the winter. the man sweater warms all icon_cool
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Re: Rachel and Ralph's Super Happy a Fun Time Thread

Postby Caryn » Thu Jul 24, 2014 7:28:22 pm

Then what do you in the summer? Shave that furry little bastard?
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Re: Rachel and Ralph's Super Happy a Fun Time Thread

Postby Becky » Thu Jul 24, 2014 7:32:26 pm

Ralph, did you write Hayden a love story in your FCs?
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Re: Rachel and Ralph's Super Happy a Fun Time Thread

Postby Ralph » Thu Jul 24, 2014 7:37:16 pm

Becky wrote:Ralph, did you write Hayden a love story in your FCs?


I wrote Everyone a really nice long one but then It didn't post correctly so I had to do A 2nd one where you can tell my heart wasn't in it....

But in my original one I did write about his amazing bod
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Re: Rachel and Ralph's Super Happy a Fun Time Thread

Postby Caryn » Thu Jul 24, 2014 7:41:34 pm

Thanks for ignoring my question you fat fuck.
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Re: Rachel and Ralph's Super Happy a Fun Time Thread

Postby Ralph » Thu Jul 24, 2014 7:58:18 pm

mucho apologizo caryn-do

in the summer I shave it and then make blankets out of it for children.
It grows back daily so it's no big deal
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